mom shaming: it takes two
This month Nicki was on a panel for Well Rounded where she chatted about mom shaming. The conversation was so poignant, we’re sharing Nicki’s thoughts here.
The honest conversation about mom shaming isn’t about the countless times I’ve been shamed on an airplane, grocery story or family dinner… It’s really about how many times I have shamed someone else.
I’m not a person to confront another mother about her parenting. I won’t make a comment, or send a “message,” and I will certainly not take to social media. What I will do is think to myself, “Wow, I’d never do that!”
Such as...
- Going back to work right after giving birth
- Taking your small toddler to a concert late at night
- Having a babysitter night after night
- Letting your child drink soda
- Not reprimanding your kid in public when it clearly looks like a good idea to do so (ha!)
- And on and on...
You will never ever know that I am thinking these things, but I am. Because for a slight moment, I think I know what is best. I think I am a good mom and no matter what, my kid isn’t going to [fill in the blank].
Here’s the problem: People are judgemental. That didn’t start when we became mothers. It’s how we’re wired. Here’s the good news though: We can do something about it. Like right now!
The change doesn’t start with how you react to being shamed. It starts with how you view others.
The times I find myself judging another mother, I remind myself that I too, have had those moments in a grocery store, airplane or even on a playdate when my kid and I are having an “off” moment. Maybe it’s my parenting style, I don’t know! I would love, however, at these moments, for any mother that is around me to not judge and maybe even help me.
Mr. Fred Rogers once said that when in crisis, look for the helpers. It was advice his mother gave to him. I feel like motherhood is certainly a great big test to all women. So, when you see someone that could use help but won’t ask, just offer it. Help. Jump in if it makes sense. Or at least just throw her a comforting smile.
It also happens when we judge ourselves. I look at someone else who appears to me to have it all figured out. Instagram is a serial trigger. Given enough time and energy in my feed, I start to feel like I am not what I thought I was.
Shaming goes both ways. So, maybe offer a little generosity to yourself too.
I think the only antidote to this whole thing is to be a helper and look at that person as if they were you. What would you appreciate? Maybe some generosity? Maybe empathy. Maybe some help.
Ultimately women need support, any way they can get it.
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Hello everyone, I’m here to testify of a powerful love spell caster called lord Zulu, who helped me stabilize my relationship and solved all the problems that’s been going on in my life. I was confused and devastated when my husband left me and my kids without a word, I needed him back because I love him so much, I told my friend about how he left me. She introduced me to this powerful and reliable spell caster who had helped her in getting her lover back, so I contacted him and he promised that in less than 24 hours he will come back to me. After I did all he asked, to my greatest surprise my husband who had refused to speak with me came to my house and asked for forgiveness for all he had made me go through and now we are living happily together, I will forever be grateful to you Lord Zulu if you have any relationship problem I will advise you to contact him now for your testimonies. Contact him on WhatsApp +2348146326016 Email @ lordzulu05@gmail.com website: allsupremepowersolutionhom.website2.me
WEB PAGE 2: https://64f9bc917d97d.site123.me
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WEB PAGE 2: https://64f9bc917d97d.site123.me
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WEB PAGE 2: https://64f9bc917d97d.site123.me
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WEB PAGE 2: https://64f9bc917d97d.site123.me
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WEB PAGE 2: https://64f9bc917d97d.site123.me
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WEB PAGE 2: https://64f9bc917d97d.site123.me
BEST AND URGENT LOVE SPELL TO GET BACK WITH YOUR EX HUSBAND/WIFE THROUGH A POWERFUL LOVE SPELL CASTER CALLED LORD ZULU CONTACT HIM NOW FOR YOUR TESTIMONIES. CONTACT HIM ON WHATSAPP NOW +2348146326016Hello everyone, I’m here to testify of a powerful love spell caster called lord Zulu, who helped me stabilize my relationship and solved all the problems that’s been going on in my life. I was confused and devastated when my husband left me and my kids without a word, I needed him back because I love him so much, I told my friend about how he left me. She introduced me to this powerful and reliable spell caster who had helped her in getting her lover back, so I contacted him and he promised that in less than 24 hours he will come back to me. After I did all he asked, to my greatest surprise my husband who had refused to speak with me came to my house and asked for forgiveness for all he had made me go through and now we are living happily together, I will forever be grateful to you Lord Zulu if you have any relationship problem I will advise you to contact him now for your testimonies. Contact him on WhatsApp +2348146326016 Email @ lordzulu05@gmail.com website: allsupremepowersolutionhom.website2.me
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Indeed spells work. I wanna express myself on how this psychic priest Ray saved my marriage from divorce. Myself and my husband were having some misunderstanding and it was tearing our marriage apart to the extent my husband was seeking for a divorce and during that time he left home and I was really devastated I cried day and night I was searching about love quotes online I saw people talking about him and his great work whose case was similar to mine they left his contact info I contacted him told him about my problems he told me that my husband will return back to me within 24hrs i did everything he asked me to do the next day to my greatest surprise my husband came back home and was begging for me to forgive and accept him back he can also help you if you have same marriage issues contact
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