mom shaming: it takes two

This month Nicki was on a panel for Well Rounded where she chatted about mom shaming. The conversation was so poignant, we’re sharing Nicki’s thoughts here.

The honest conversation about mom shaming isn’t about the countless times I’ve been shamed on an airplane, grocery story or family dinner… It’s really about how many times I have shamed someone else.

I’m not a person to confront another mother about her parenting. I won’t make a comment, or send a “message,” and I will certainly not take to social media. What I will do is think to myself, “Wow, I’d never do that!”

Such as...

  • Going back to work right after giving birth
  • Taking your small toddler to a concert late at night
  • Having a babysitter night after night
  • Letting your child drink soda
  • Not reprimanding your kid in public when it clearly looks like a good idea to do so (ha!)
  • And on and on...

You will never ever know that I am thinking these things, but I am. Because for a slight moment, I think I know what is best. I think I am a good mom and no matter what, my kid isn’t going to [fill in the blank].  

Here’s the problem: People are judgemental. That didn’t start when we became mothers. It’s how we’re wired. Here’s the good news though: We can do something about it. Like right now!

The change doesn’t start with how you react to being shamed. It starts with how you view others.

The times I find myself judging another mother, I remind myself that I too, have had those moments in a grocery store, airplane or even on a playdate when my kid and I are having an “off” moment. Maybe it’s my parenting style, I don’t know! I would love, however, at these moments, for any mother that is around me to not judge and maybe even help me.

Mr. Fred Rogers once said that when in crisis, look for the helpers. It was advice his mother gave to him. I feel like motherhood is certainly a great big test to all women. So, when you see someone that could use help but won’t ask, just offer it. Help. Jump in if it makes sense. Or at least just throw her a comforting smile.

It also happens when we judge ourselves. I look at someone else who appears to me to have it all figured out. Instagram is a serial trigger. Given enough time and energy in my feed, I start to feel like I am not what I thought I was.

Shaming goes both ways. So, maybe offer a little generosity to yourself too.

I think the only antidote to this whole thing is to be a helper and look at that person as if they were you. What would you appreciate? Maybe some generosity? Maybe empathy. Maybe some help.

Ultimately women need support, any way they can get it.


36 comments


  • Dutton Michael

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    cc
    Dutton Michael.


  • Belinda Hicks

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    REAL SPELL CASTER 2023/2024 GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK NO MATTER WHY THEY LET YOU, CONTACT DR PETER WHATSAPP +2348162247974 DRPETERSPELLCASTER21@GMAIL.COM
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    REAL SPELL CASTER 2023/2024 GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK NO MATTER WHY THEY LET YOU, CONTACT DR PETER WHATSAPP +2348162247974 DRPETERSPELLCASTER21@GMAIL.COM
    Hello friends, This is my testimony on how my husband came back to me.. I want to say a very big thanks and appreciation to DR PETER spell caster for bringing back my husband who left me for almost 2 year, I feel like my life is completely over, so one day as i was surfing on the internet for recommend spell caster who will help me to bring my husband back, Finally i met a writing how so many testimony talking about how DR PETER help to restore relationships back within some few days, I laugh it out and said i am not interested but because i was so desperate, i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called DR PETER and explain my problems to him, and he was so nice and also consoling which was really great, then he started the love spell luckily within 48 hours my husband really called me and started apologizing for all he had caused me and be begging me to accept him back and we are living together and happily married I am the happiest woman on earth today because DR PETER has done a wonderful deeds in my life and i will continue to share this testimony, contact him on his email drpeterspellcaster21@gmail.com OR drpeterspellcaster@yahoo.com directly on WHATS-APP +2348162247974
    Blog: https://drpeterspellcaster.blogspot.com/
    Website: https://drpeterspellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site-1
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    REAL SPELL CASTER 2023/2024 GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK NO MATTER WHY THEY LET YOU, CONTACT DR PETER WHATSAPP +2348162247974 DRPETERSPELLCASTER21@GMAIL.COM
    Hello friends, This is my testimony on how my husband came back to me.. I want to say a very big thanks and appreciation to DR PETER spell caster for bringing back my husband who left me for almost 2 year, I feel like my life is completely over, so one day as i was surfing on the internet for recommend spell caster who will help me to bring my husband back, Finally i met a writing how so many testimony talking about how DR PETER help to restore relationships back within some few days, I laugh it out and said i am not interested but because i was so desperate, i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called DR PETER and explain my problems to him, and he was so nice and also consoling which was really great, then he started the love spell luckily within 48 hours my husband really called me and started apologizing for all he had caused me and be begging me to accept him back and we are living together and happily married I am the happiest woman on earth today because DR PETER has done a wonderful deeds in my life and i will continue to share this testimony, contact him on his email drpeterspellcaster21@gmail.com OR drpeterspellcaster@yahoo.com directly on WHATS-APP +2348162247974
    Blog: https://drpeterspellcaster.blogspot.com/
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    REAL SPELL CASTER 2023/2024 GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK NO MATTER WHY THEY LET YOU, CONTACT DR PETER WHATSAPP +2348162247974 DRPETERSPELLCASTER21@GMAIL.COM
    Hello friends, This is my testimony on how my husband came back to me.. I want to say a very big thanks and appreciation to DR PETER spell caster for bringing back my husband who left me for almost 2 year, I feel like my life is completely over, so one day as i was surfing on the internet for recommend spell caster who will help me to bring my husband back, Finally i met a writing how so many testimony talking about how DR PETER help to restore relationships back within some few days, I laugh it out and said i am not interested but because i was so desperate, i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called DR PETER and explain my problems to him, and he was so nice and also consoling which was really great, then he started the love spell luckily within 48 hours my husband really called me and started apologizing for all he had caused me and be begging me to accept him back and we are living together and happily married I am the happiest woman on earth today because DR PETER has done a wonderful deeds in my life and i will continue to share this testimony, contact him on his email drpeterspellcaster21@gmail.com OR drpeterspellcaster@yahoo.com directly on WHATS-APP +2348162247974
    Blog: https://drpeterspellcaster.blogspot.com/
    Website: https://drpeterspellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site-1
    https://drpeterspellcaster.mystrikingly.com/

    REAL SPELL CASTER 2023/2024 GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK NO MATTER WHY THEY LET YOU, CONTACT DR PETER WHATSAPP +2348162247974 DRPETERSPELLCASTER21@GMAIL.COM
    Hello friends, This is my testimony on how my husband came back to me.. I want to say a very big thanks and appreciation to DR PETER spell caster for bringing back my husband who left me for almost 2 year, I feel like my life is completely over, so one day as i was surfing on the internet for recommend spell caster who will help me to bring my husband back, Finally i met a writing how so many testimony talking about how DR PETER help to restore relationships back within some few days, I laugh it out and said i am not interested but because i was so desperate, i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called DR PETER and explain my problems to him, and he was so nice and also consoling which was really great, then he started the love spell luckily within 48 hours my husband really called me and started apologizing for all he had caused me and be begging me to accept him back and we are living together and happily married I am the happiest woman on earth today because DR PETER has done a wonderful deeds in my life and i will continue to share this testimony, contact him on his email drpeterspellcaster21@gmail.com OR drpeterspellcaster@yahoo.com directly on WHATS-APP +2348162247974
    Blog: https://drpeterspellcaster.blogspot.com/
    Website: https://drpeterspellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site-1
    https://drpeterspellcaster.mystrikingly.com/

    REAL SPELL CASTER 2023/2024 GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK NO MATTER WHY THEY LET YOU, CONTACT DR PETER WHATSAPP +2348162247974 DRPETERSPELLCASTER21@GMAIL.COM
    Hello friends, This is my testimony on how my husband came back to me.. I want to say a very big thanks and appreciation to DR PETER spell caster for bringing back my husband who left me for almost 2 year, I feel like my life is completely over, so one day as i was surfing on the internet for recommend spell caster who will help me to bring my husband back, Finally i met a writing how so many testimony talking about how DR PETER help to restore relationships back within some few days, I laugh it out and said i am not interested but because i was so desperate, i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called DR PETER and explain my problems to him, and he was so nice and also consoling which was really great, then he started the love spell luckily within 48 hours my husband really called me and started apologizing for all he had caused me and be begging me to accept him back and we are living together and happily married I am the happiest woman on earth today because DR PETER has done a wonderful deeds in my life and i will continue to share this testimony, contact him on his email drpeterspellcaster21@gmail.com OR drpeterspellcaster@yahoo.com directly on WHATS-APP +2348162247974
    Blog: https://drpeterspellcaster.blogspot.com/
    Website: https://drpeterspellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site-1
    https://drpeterspellcaster.mystrikingly.com/

    REAL SPELL CASTER 2023/2024 GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK NO MATTER WHY THEY LET YOU, CONTACT DR PETER WHATSAPP +2348162247974 DRPETERSPELLCASTER21@GMAIL.COM
    Hello friends, This is my testimony on how my husband came back to me.. I want to say a very big thanks and appreciation to DR PETER spell caster for bringing back my husband who left me for almost 2 year, I feel like my life is completely over, so one day as i was surfing on the internet for recommend spell caster who will help me to bring my husband back, Finally i met a writing how so many testimony talking about how DR PETER help to restore relationships back within some few days, I laugh it out and said i am not interested but because i was so desperate, i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called DR PETER and explain my problems to him, and he was so nice and also consoling which was really great, then he started the love spell luckily within 48 hours my husband really called me and started apologizing for all he had caused me and be begging me to accept him back and we are living together and happily married I am the happiest woman on earth today because DR PETER has done a wonderful deeds in my life and i will continue to share this testimony, contact him on his email drpeterspellcaster21@gmail.com OR drpeterspellcaster@yahoo.com directly on WHATS-APP +2348162247974
    Blog: https://drpeterspellcaster.blogspot.com/
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  • Manuel Franco

    I just want to say Thank You to everyone who supported me through the years. My name is Manuel Franco, New Berlin, Wisconsin. My story of how I won the Powerball lottery of $768.4M is a bit of a tale. I have been playing Powerball tickets for 6 years now since I turned 18. I bought my first ticket on my 18 birthday. I was feeling very lucky that day because I had contacted Dr. Odunga Michael to help me with the winning Powerball numbers. I really had that great great feeling that I looked at the camera wanting to wink at it. I only did a tiny part of it and trusted him. He gave me the numbers after I played a couple other tickets along with it for $10. I checked my ticket after the winnings came online and saw the numbers were correct including the Power play. I screamed for about 10 minutes because it felt like a dream. I had won $768.4M. You can check my winning testimony with the lottery officials just with my name search. Thank you Dr Odunga. Well, his email is odungaspelltemple@gmail.com and you can also call or Whats-app him at +2348167159012 so you guys can contact him


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  • kate jordan

    My name is KATE JORDAN.I want to give thanks to PRIEST MOGIES for bringing back my ex husband.No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I’m about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like this, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker) that Trust is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person,It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles; I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn’t face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. and he broke up with me again . I was confused and did not know what to do again, rather they got in contact with PRIEST MOGIES. He did a love spell that made my husband come back to me. We are now very much happy with ourselves. PRIEST MOGIES makes him realize how much we love and need each other .This man is for REAL and for good . He can also help you to fix your broken relationship. I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well , in our love life . contact him via email mogiespsychichome@gmail.com or via whatsapp +2348161536183


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